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2020-06-20T00:36:00-07:00

How We Differentiate Intimacy and Normalcy in Relationship

Do we always wonder how do we differentiate between normalcy and Intimacy. How do we easily navigate between these two and in very shorter time we could act as strangers.. This would be an insight to the nature of human psychology. Lets begin by understanding Intimacy.

What is Intimacy

Intimacy is closeness between people in personal relationships. It means there will be two individuals or more in personal relationships  having closeness. Closeness is something we everyone is fond off. Closeness comes with smiling at each other, sharing a room, making food, sleeping together and doing activities together. Does this gives you closeness or intimacy. I don't think so. 

Intimacy is more in terms of emotions than perspectives. These emotions can often rise by spending time together with the intention of developing closeness or by acting normally. Development of intimate emotions is somewhat baffling to the mind as it might rise unexpectedly with others who have no clue about it.

Intimacy is care, understanding and support for each other as per psychology. This might be much better than just an intention to have closeness. Closeness is somewhat vague to explain exactly what happens in intimacy. 

What is Normalcy

Normalcy is just being normal. Thats it. You can ask me how can you explain being normal. Well, its kind of tricky. Normalcy is a state where you feel normal. So it is very subjective to the person who is experiencing it.

How We Differentiate Intimacy and Normalcy in Relationship

There must be something going on in the brain of an individual who is experiencing this phenomena. The switch between being intimate to being a complete stranger. Does this intimacy triggering brain centre suddenly stops firing or does the normalcy triggering centre starts firing.

brain image of emotion
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 From the image it is quite understandable that the centres responsible for firing responses are unique. So who is deciding what is best for the person at the right moment of time. How do one switch between intimacy in closed spaces to normalcy in open spaces and in public. I am not saying people do not express intimacy in open spaces. They do share such feeling but often restrict it to the closed spaces for privacy.

More than that how does one person decide who is best for him/her. Is that based on the intimacy triggers one get or does it develops slowly over time. It is quite uncertain what the case might be as for some it develops so fast and sometimes it does take time. It might depend on the individual and his/her personality.

But how do one know it. Maybe someone enjoy all the closeness but unsure about what exactly is going on in his/her head. Is that the closeness push him/her to more and more intimacy or is it leading to normalcy. How do one decide what is enough intimacy and when to start normalcy.

When someone ends relationships, one decides to forego the intimacy with that person and continue normalcy. Here normalcy means devoid of intimacy. It is quite strange that the switch between normalcy and intimacy can be switched by will. Sometimes people say oh, i want to break that relationship, but i cant. This means the person is lagging will to do so. So will comes in to the discussion.

Will - To Be or Not to Be

Why will is so important. Because application of will decides whether to switch between centre of brain. But as per the new studies, will is considered to be a figment of imagination. 


If self is illusion, then the will, which is a product used to protect self interest is also in illusion. So if will is not the one who is deciding this change, then what is. Is there another decision maker lying in the unconsciousness that we haven't explained yet. 

Are we more focused on understanding responses and triggers and linkage between brain centre and will where we might be missing out the underlying decision making pathway of human beings. There there might an X which is deciding whats our will, whats our decision and how we should behave. Or are we ignorant of this X. Is this X is a sum of all the experiences and memories and thoughts we have, the compendium of us which understands the pros and cons of life and end up pushing the "free will" to make decisions.

In that case how do we understand this X, or is it not accessible, something like a forbidden fruit of knowledge. I think this X is the trickiest decision maker which makes you to make your move without telling you. You cant find this X because its you. How can the pearl finds itself in the sea. It cant unless there is a mirror. 

Just like that. May be we are all searching for something to make our lives better, to make decisions to protect our selves, to be very anxious of bad decisions that we took in our life. That something may never come. Because we are searching for us. 

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