How We Make Mistakes in Life

We all do mistakes in life, right? Somehow or the other we all succumb to that. I remember me making big mistakes in life. Many of my mistakes are related to my family. My father took a housing loan/mortage of Eight Thousand rupees back in 2010. Later my brother took an educational loan on top that which raised it to 1.7 lakh. Then my uncle got ill, unfortunately after ten days of treatment, he passed way. The medical costed around 3 lakh. Total loan + interest came around 5 lakh. Combined with all other loans. If i remember correctly, there were 14 types of loans took by my family. I added all that and it was around 7 lakh.

Loan, More Loan, More Mortgage

I wanted to close off all these loans. Obviously i took responsibility of it since my brother doesnt care about anything. From 2015 onwards, i started saving all that money and from here and there, i paid of the entire loan. 7 lakh gone in an instant. I got a huge relief. That was my first mistake. I should have saved that money instead paying of the loan.

How We Make Mistakes in Life

The second i paid of the loan, my brother started asking to buy a car. He showed all temper tantrums and even crying to please my mother. She gave in and they got a car for 3.5 lakhs. They took loan of 1 lakh and 2.5 lakh on EMI. Second mistake is that i shouldnt have involved in it. They said to buy a car under 1 lakh and the car was so crap and i suggested to buy a good car. They took my suggestion and now they blame for the high price of the car.

Fourth my brother and his friends started a computer institute and i gave thirty thousand rupees to start it. Later they bought so many things. Then once profit started coming in, they wanted to get him out of it. After so many discussions, brother wanted to buy it from them. I gave 2.5 lakhs to buy that too. Another mistake.

 Fifth I got cocky. I saw this nice cafe and i wanted to own it. It was a stupid move and i knew it all along. Somehow i couldnt stop myself and went for it. Spend so much money on it. Got a another loan for 4 lakh. After 4 months, it got shut down. Covid also hit that time. Got around 1.4 lakh advance back and brother took twenty thousand from that and mother took ten thousand and i got 1 lakh after that. I paid some money to that loan and it stands a 2.6 lakh now.

Sixth, my father wanted a new bike. He took another loan and all interests of all other loans were taken by the bank. He went for 1.5 lakh loan.

After spending so much time thinking, planning and saving money and spending 7 lakh rs, my family ended up with 2.6 lakh cafe loan, 1 lakh car loan, 2 lakh EMI loan, 1.5 lakh on scooter loan, 2.5 lakh lost on computer institute and no revenue. A total of 9.6 lakh. I spent 7 lakh to get another 9.6 lakh loan.

While working on North India in places with discimal condition, i got health issues and affected with Hogkins Lymphoma and IgA Nepropathy. So now i am affected with a life threatening condition with 9.6 lakh loan by family with no significant income. 

What is a mistake? Am I dumb

Is this called a mistake. I do not know. In life we go by doing what is necessary at that point of time. Many of these decisions do came with many emotions such as anger, pride, ego, feeling big, dialogues, debates, family counselling and many many more. One thing i learned is that there is no end in all these mistakes. Because people think differently about everything. They think and act as per their priorities and needs. You can either agree or not agree. 

If you do not agree, they will make you agree by applying so many strategies. For them, they just want their things, fulfill their needs and satisfy their goals. It is same as what I do. Push them to meet my needs. I hate my life. Really, i hate it to the core. I do not understand the need for living anymore. The more you work, the more you are going to get affected.

The more you suffer, the more you are going to get ruined. There is no end in suffering, working, providing, giving, receiving and many more issues along the way. There is solution for it when you live in society. When you assume everything, you are limited by your thought. You think you figured it out and you act according to it.

You think you have figure it, decide to act and once you have start it, you cant stop. You keep acting and end of the run, you realise it does not matter how much you plan, how much you think, how much you act, it all depends on many factors.

Life leading to Suffering 😔

Life is always crap and it will lead you to more suffering. What we can all do is to optimise our thinking. Knowing that its a mistake, that all decisions are going to be a mistake only. There is no right choice. All choices are essentially wrong. You keep making wrong choices in life and end of the day, you might need to think whether you have taken right choices in life. Better not to think back. Because that will give you more guilt and more sadness.

Do we a get a fresh start in life? Can a fresh start actually happen? I do not think so. Because our life is a product of our past life. It will clutch to you a like a deamon. A deamon which will haunt for the rest of the life. What we can easily do is to see that this is all happended and there is no going back. You are here at this juncture, at this point of time. There is no going back. So lets live today. 

Future is going to be the same. We are making bad choices even today which will haunt us in future. Thats the design of life. We think we choose the right decision but we do not. We push ourselves to be better financially, socially, but we do not. We are just making fun of ourselves. Whatever we do, we are bound by thinking, not just ours but by the thinking of others too.

There is no escape from it. What we could do is to observe these thoughts, stop choosing and stop making decisions. Just keep doing things instead of making decisions. Keep doing what you like. Because there is no other time in life that you can do it.